Time to take stock

Its time to take stock before the upcoming year, the planned wedding and the new job. A lot of change is happening on all fronts - and its important to have a calm composure while the madness is unfolding. It's also time to revisit some useful principles - daily meditation, reflecting on inner strengths.

Man in the middle

I hate being the man in the middle. I dont want to be a messenger boy or an arbitrator. I want some things in my own way. The rest, I dont really care about. Problem is the people I care about are obsessed with things that I dont care about.
Should I care about the people? Yes. Should I care about their issues? Well...

Putting myself through a lot

The tension, anxieties, insecurities, worries, fears are getting a little bit too much to handle at the moment. At times I feel I am one against the world for all the preparations for engagement/marriage. I am so convinced about this that I view everything as a threat to my wishes. And that's not good.
The problems lie within. The answers also lie within.

Goose is cooked

The goose is fully cooked. Am getting engaged on Jan 27. Am also shifting jobs on Jan 13.
It's a time of change and excitement.
I'm scared.
Merry Christmas!

My goose is getting cooked...

...by today evening, it should be fully done.

Health is Wealth... literally

If I dont have good health, I'll spend a lot of wealth... which will flow eventually to the medical system of doctors and hospitals. Spent a bomb on some tests for diagnosing back ache. Bloody hell - I want more wealth.

It's all coming back

The aggression, the drive, the just-do-it attitude. It's all coming back. Finally. Phew.

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

Its true. Very true.

The focus is coming in

The focus is sharpening slowly. Decisions are being made. The time is one of breaking off from many traditional/long-held beliefs.

Horror-scope

My parents are hunting for a bride for me.
My Dad believes in matching horoscopes - I dont believe in it at all.
Its turning out to be a typical story - the family chooses a bride THEY like, irrespective of whether the guy likes her or not!! Their intention is honest, the process is silly.

I need to take a stand... Horoscopes are bollocks.

Now, need to convince folks to drop this age-old-pandits'-timepass / source-of-income. Come to think of it, pandits should be amongst the richest people in India with the wool they keep pulling over people's eyes with all kinds of rituals of appeasing the gods/stars/planets/moon/sun, etc.
They should be put onto a space capsule and blasted off into space for good. They will be closer to their beloved planetary objects - they have no place on earth.

Focus

Focus on the positives!
Focus on the strengths!
Focus on the future!
Strengthen that focus!

Closing it

I think I need to close issues/matters without over-thinking the situation. The fundamentals have to agree. The feeling has to be right and straight from the gut. The basics have to match.
And then, its time to close it. And move on with a view only to the future.

Dont forget the pieces...they'll fit into the Jigsaw later

Many events in my life seem to be disjointed. But, forgotten past events/people suddenly come into play without announcement. And they play a role in the present and future.
So, although there are disjointed events in my past, they will fall into perfect alignment into the Great Jigsaw of Life when the time is right.

Cut the crap, hit the road

Ok, this "finding myself" thing is gonna take a long time. And when I do find myself, I might have already changed.
So, its time to hit the road, and keep thinking, keep discovering. And keep running.

"It's no good running if you're on the wrong road" - Warren Buffett
"It's no good to stand by the road either" - Me

Issues...

Issues will always be there boss. Issues will always be there.
That's why, strive for excellence, not perfection. Reduces time with battling insignificant or irrelevant issues as well.

Preparation: Me or Life?

Am I preparing to lead my life? Or is life preparing to lead me to something I am not aware of...?

Too many thoughts...

Dil ya Dimag: The Heart or the Brain?

Which one rules me? Which one is the backup/safety?

Experience with online marriage sites

Disclaimer: I havent really done justice with using these sites with full functionality. (online chat, voip calls, horoscope-match, etc, etc - i am too cheap to pay for something i am not convinced about)


The marriage websites have actually helped me understand what I am really looking for in a match. And they have disappointed me thoroughly with raw data, thoroughly standardized descriptions of oneself and what one is looking for. Descriptions of oneself and one's expectations couldn't get more boring than this.

Samples :
"I am a down to earth girl looking for a down to earth guy" - WTF ??!!
"I am a humble, well-mannered girl looking for a humble well-mannered guy" - BALLS!!
"I am A, B, C. He should be X, Y, Z. " - Yeah, that makes sense.
"He should be Non-smoking, non-drinking" - WoooHoo!! All the best in your search!

It's quite sad that the expectations are nowhere in line with reality or with a view to the future. Static report-cards are presented on the website and I can close my eyes and shoot out "Express-Interests" since the" MOULD of a Good Groom" is so bloody predictable!

The only thing these websites have done is that they have made the match-makers go online. Much like one can buy bread and eggs online instead of at the store - one can find matches online instead of in the temple's marriage-register. Much more convenient, no doubt about it.

Although, what these sites have made me realize is that I am not looking for a standard wife. At least I know that about myself now.
Also, it has made me realize, quite sadly so, that I spend slightly more time going through profiles of better looking women than those who are not. That's a truth about myself I have realized. This fact though has not made me put up a better looking picture of myself! :) My mom cant understand why I've put up a what-she-calls-silly picture. I guess deep down, I want to get rejected online.
And find someone who is not a static report-card.

The mind is the heaviest part of the body

My mind is very heavy these days. Way too many thoughts - I even think in my sleep. I realized that my mind is weighing me down - and thats why my body is moving slower since the past many months. Too many heavy thoughts are taking their toll on the speed the body used to have earlier.
Things have to change. Time to join the gym. Time to meditate.
Lighter body, Lighter mind.

Too many thoughts

One day at a time.
If there's not the FULL effort going in, it's not worth it.
What is worth it?
Never say never again.
Who knows.
From here on, its a new day.
Past is History.

When I forget, I am reminded...

Whenever I've forgotten a lesson...I have been reminded...often in a harsh, cold sort of way.
It means I need to remember the lessons...and know myself well enough. The self-realization journey has only just begun.

Many doors

I'm quite convinced that to open one door and enter inside confidently, another door has to be closed firmly. Having one foot in each door or sitting on the fence, means I will keep sitting in one place with no movement.
It is a tough decision to close a door firmly shut. But, I wont be able to move further without doing that.
A more than usual restless mind nowadays.

So far, So good

The recently-adopted strategy of "Forget the grand plan for now, just follow the signs" is working well. There is less stress about the big mission of life, etc. More fun with on-the-spot decisions and activities.

Read a nice quote in an email signature line recently: "Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOOHOO,what a ride!""

The worst movie I have ever seen

Ram Gopal Verma ki Aag.
The worst movie I have ever seen.
Enough said.

Yosemite, Vegas and a fresh perspective

Yosemite National Park - had a great trip with pals. New places and old pals make a great combination! Yosemite impressed me with its seasonal offerings - something different in each season. We went in summer when it was quite hot, not much water, but a whole lot of scenery to soak in. It was tiring after the whole day at SFO airport and not much sleep during the trip, but tirings trips are always fun! :) I'll come back to Yosemite in Spring - when there's more water.

Vegas - 3rd time to Vegas. This time was GREAT! Old places and new pals also make a great combination! Hung out with new pals from ISB, and literally slept 4 hours a night, with tiredness becoming a part of life. Never had so much fun in Vegas before! Hit the nightclubs daily, roamed around, shopped with some great deals on offer, and had a blast!

A fresh perspective - Realized that I'm overthinking life, in general. This is the time to live it for the moment, day by day. Get the maximum out of it, give maximum to it. Stop thinking about the "Grand Plan" of life - if there is really such a thing. Anyways, it's living in the present for now, and enjoying every moment to the hilt!
Viva Las Vegas!

There's no such as knowing what I want to do

There's no such thing as knowing what I want to do for the rest of my life. There's no such thing.
I'm too dynamic for any one role or job or industry or company. I want to do what I like at that particular point in time. It will not fit into the overall scheme of things (if there's ever such a thing) or even to some "career-path", which is another term for a boring existence doing the same thing over and over again.
Looking for the next role/job/company/industry. Where is it?

Car aayee bahaar aayee

My pal told me - get a car, you'll get a great social life! I got a car - and suddenly the social life is happening too! In a strange way - there has been a rush of social activity, although the car is not even there on most occasions! But, it has helped to have a car and made the travel more fun at other times. Driving in Bombay though is more art, than science. I'm learning it the hard way. I'll be an artist soon!

Me as the central character

All the world's a stage... etc - said someone a long time ago. My addendum to that is that ME/I am the central character of my own stage. (On a side note, as the world revolves, it's nice to picturize a revolving stage, where the focus keeps shifting from one central character to another - all connected in some way. So, for a while I am the central character - and as one of my co-actors moves onto the stage, the stage rotates, and now HE/SHE is the central character of his/her own stage).

Yoga is for self-realization - good health, concentration power, etc are only side-effects! - Swami Ramdev.
Yet again, the theme of living for ONESELF.

As I see it, "I" am the central character and should concentrate on my own role in this world. The rest of the world is busy concentrating on itself. And that's the way it should be.

Connectedness = Isolation

The more connected I get, the more isolated I get. I have 2 active email ids, am on 2 social-network sites, am on 2 messengers, and have an active mobile phone directory. I would think I'm really connected. And I am.
And this is increasingly leading to isolation. Due to rapid/immediate access to all my pals, I know what each one is upto, almost on a daily basis. And due to this, I feel so connected, that I dont feel like making that extra effort to meet up! Which leads to virtual-connectedness but physical-isolation. I can always re-schedule meeting a friend, call/message/scrap or promise him/her that the next time I fly into their city, I'll definitely catch up. Oh yeah, flying has become very common too.

I think the more the world is shrinking, the more its growing apart. Effort to meet-in-person is drastically reducing, as the novelty value of "catching up" is dying due to too much and instantaneous connectivity.

Movie review: V for Vendetta

I've missed a lot of good movies. The good part about that is that there is enough selection to choose from, when I visit the DVD store.


V for Vendetta has a tight storyline, is fast-paced, and has deep psychological plays between the main 2 characters. As the story builds up, the reasons for the protagonist's deep hatred for the government become apparent. It's a tight script. Most fascinating of all is the fact that the protagonist is masked throughout the movie, and yet the emotions are so real and almost have a "face" of their own. Brilliant story-telling with dialogues that reveal more than actions.

After the movie, took an afternoon nap (I love those!) and dreamt of the movie... with me in it, and a storyline to match. Eerie. The longer the nap, the worse the dreams. Snapped out of it quickly.

The best drinks are at the bar

Once seated at the bar, I get the best drinks. I think developing a rapport with the bartender as well as the bartender's conscience that I am watching, makes him prepare the best drinks. Yesterday, i observed the bartender making the drinks. While the waiters/waitresses rushed in with orders, he quickly poured the booze, mixed the coke and sent off the waiter with the drinks.
When I asked for a drink, he took his time, poured a HUGE portion of booze and served it with a smile.

I like drinking at the bar. People came up and chatted, and I dished out my expert advice on the best drinks/snacks in the house. Flirtations also happened. Good fun.

How much "black money" is out there...?

Here, I define black money as that where there is no EQUAL trade of value.
Eg. If I buy a car, and pay 5 lakhs, and think I have got value for 5 lakhs, then it is a WHITE/PURE transaction.
If I feel value is less than 5 lakhs, then the difference is BLACK MONEY. Alternatively, if the car-dealer sold it for less value than it was worth (!!), then again the difference is BLACK MONEY.

Now, money was initially born as a medium of exchange for trading in items of the same VALUE. This replaced barter trade, where again, it was supposed to be exchanging goods of the same value.

Now, how much BLACK MONEY is out there? And what's my definition of VALUE? It's a personal call. So, this question can never have a unique answer. Ok.

There's no such thing as settling down

Phew. This sudden thought occurred in my mind today, and made me feel much at ease! The age of 28 is tricky, because my gang is all married and "settled". And parents dont know why I'm not in the same status as my pals. And for the past year, I too have been thinking why I'm not in the same status as my pals.

Now, suddenly, I see it. For me, there's no such thing as settling down. There's a lot to do - some of which I know of, some of which I dont know of - and will discover only with time and travel.

So, the next time someone asks me - why I'm not settling down - well, there's no such thing.

It's the Quality

I want each moment to be of the highest quality. Either engrossed in work that stretches my limits. Or reading books that stretch my imagination. Or playing/trekking that stretches my physical endurance. Or talking to people that stretches my boundaries of knowledge. Or laughing so loud that it gives me a terrible stomach-ache. Or listening to music that carries me into another world. Or sleeping so soundly that I stop existing for a while. Or meditation so deep, that the mind goes completely blank and I cannot feel myself think.

I dont want impure moments. I want pure moments of the highest quality for a lifetime. Where can I get those?

Suddenly famous... what if?

What if I suddenly become famous?
The phone will keep ringing. Postage will flow. Won't be able to walk on the street. Will be invited to zillions of artificial-people parties. Life will be scrutinized. Orkut profile will get spam. Email will be flooded. Ego will inflate. Mannerisms will be rude.

I don't want to be famous. I need to believe that.

When all else fails, Ignore it

It's happened before. I've tried too hard, pushed too hard, put in too much effort to get something going. And the outcome has not been pretty.

Following this, I've adopted two approaches in the past - not planned - but whatever made sense at the time.
1) Keep trying, pushing, putting in more effort - Now, this has at times, worked. But mostly, it has failed. Which basically means - dont try too hard - screw it, forget it, move on.
2) Ignore it - Now, this approach, surprisingly has worked in more ways than one. Either what I was after starts coming around. Or, I realize that I just dont want it anymore. Both of which lift a huge load off my back.

So, since the second approach has worked better, I think I'm just gonna ignore what doesnt seem to be budging. Maybe I'm after the wrong thing. The key is to keep myself busy with other things - which I will try to do.

Movie Review: Insomnia

The movie can be summed up in two words: Al Pacino.

Another brilliant movie by Al Pacino. Harassed and sleep-deprived, the LAPD detective sets about solving a murder in a far-off small town. Drifting between wakefulness, hallucination and nightmares of a crime he unknowingly commits, Al Pacino defines a cop's life in a new way. Rest of the cast supports well, although the movie is all about Al.

I like the advice he gives, in the end, to the rookie cop who is too enamoured by him and is drifting from the right path, to protect Al. He says - "Dont lose your way".
Sales and Finance are jobs where I've seen people lose their way. For short-term gains. "Dont lose your way" is good advice.

There's no use running if you're on the wrong road.

Another classic from Warren Buffett. Holds true for the job I do. Worth the pain only if there's good gain in experience and/or money.
Alternatively, helps to look at the job the other way around. Instead of "I like the job, but is it worth it?" to "Is it worth it? If yes, then I like the job"

I'm willing to face it - I've wasted one year

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. The comfort zone has made me laze, procrastinate and waste an entire year, doing nothing but work and shuttle to home. True, I've learnt loads on work during the year. But, on a personal front, there's been nothing new - no new friends, no new hobbies, no new nothing. Procrastination has reached its limits.
So, for sure, this year will see more action...I hope! Getting out of the comfort zone is a pre-requsite. Or at least something drastic to get the "shock" treatment needed to get me going.

Procrastination: The worst disease

No car yet. No regular gymming. No yoga classes. No music classes.

All of these were on the Grand Plan when I moved to Bombay. None achieved so far. I am afflicted with the disease of Procrastination. It occurs in "Comfort Zones" and is a silent and undetected phenomenon until its in an advanced stage. Treatment needs to be drastic. It might involve a sudden huge expense to make up for lost time. It might also require a hectic vacation, which brings the decaying body cells back to life. It might also involve an impulsive decision or two. It definitely requires less thinking, and more doing.

It needs to be treated ASAP. Because, time is fleeting.

Pre Mid-life crisis

Now, whats that? There's a quarter-life crisis, and a mid-life crisis - I've heard about those and gone through the first one. But, suddenly, there's another new crisis - the pre-mid-life crisis. Or I can call it the one-year-post-MBA-crisis. This one forces me to rethink on my decision to join a particular job after MBA, and also where I want to go from here.

Should I continue? Should I quit and join something else? If yes, then what should I do? Do I know what I want to do? What will be the "best" job for me? Is there such a thing at all?
And then, there's the personal side to it? Am I happy here? Should I continue in Bombay? Should I move? Where to move to? Where are my pals - all in the US. Where can I find new pals? Should I get married?

This is the decision-making phase on both job and personal fronts. And now, since I'm officially a grown-up, having completed my education, etc - the decisions are big and real. And only I can make those decisions. It's a crisis situation.

2 quick thoughts

1) HR should not be only a staffing function. In HRD, D stands for development. Treating HR as another corporate function has crippled it. HR should mentor, be the coach for employees and look for ways and means to make the employees more succesful. Not just staff people, organize parties or be a sounding board for complaints. More proactive HR is needed to curb attrition as well as "D"evelop people.

2) I learn in 2 ways: Books and Action. There needs to be both. Else, the learning is incomplete, and no fun.

Dissociation

It's a good thing. Be it stock markets or personal relationships. Dissociation helps me to objectively view a situation. No strings attached. That's the way stocks and relationships should be viewed I think. Helps to make sound and practical decisions instead of getting swept up in emotion.
The problem is - for a naturally emotional guy, how do I dissociate myself? I think the answer probably lies in yoga, meditation, etc.
But I dont want to lose the emotional component either! Is a dual/split personality possible??

Ensemble

Life is an ensemble of experiences. Just a couple of days ago, my country manager quit. And it was only 6 months since he became country manager. He said he wants to live the opportunity-wave to the max and head out on his own. And I thought - now, I should be collecting my own ensemble of various experiences. So, Jack of all Trades that I am, I am loving it! :) (McD ad-style!)

Also, saw a girl in some creative and beautiful wardrobe ensembles! Ensembles are fun, creative and attractive! ;)

Wanting to work my arse off

I think I want to work my arse off for a while. There was a time during my first project at Infy, when I worked about 14 hours a day for 3 months at a stretch. I read newspapers after weeks, and thought - "Man, the world has changed, and I'm not even aware of it!". At the end of three months, there were 2 reactions - "I just lost 3 months of life without knowing it" and also "I think I've changed hugely in the past 3 months". I think both were important reactions.

Now, I want to work my arse off again. I think I have the mental and physical capacity to pull it off. And also the will and ambition. So, I need either a crazy hard-working job, or 2 jobs to fill up the 16 hour workday I desire. But in any case, it should be a wild, fun 16-hour ride! Else, I'm not up for it.

Open-mindedness

It's the most important attribute. Open-mindedness. Open to learn, explore, re-visit old inhibitions and failures. I think that's a very important characteristic to develop and also be friends with people who are open-minded. Frankly, close-minded people piss me off.

Quantity and Quality - another distinction between youth and maturity

I think the more one talks, the more immature one is. And I sometimes become like that, when I'm with old pals! Back to the younger days, when we yakked away to glory and passed comments on everything under the sun, and the sun, included! So, yesterday, with old pals, I literally ran my mouth dry in yakking - most of it was childish stuff.

And the less I talk at work, etc - with the pausing before the words - the more mature I think and sound. So, the quality of words here defines maturity, rather than the quantity.

Which is why, when old sages/kings spoke in old mythologies, their words carried great weight! Like the curses and boons which lasted a thousand years! Quality of speech far outweighs quantity. And sometimes, silence is better than no words said - in fact, silence speaks more than a thousand words, at times!

Strength of the "Pause"

A few days ago, I suddenly came across the power of the "Pause". Pausing for just a few seconds before I said something immediately made my response a whole lot stronger in content and delivery.
Usually, the blood rose straight to my head (either in agony or ecstasy) and I used to say something which was either hot-headed or flamboyant - both of which were not strong responses. In fact, the matter was usually made worse by a volley of loose words.
But recently, on a morning jog, my mind seemed to "pause" just a little bit. And a realization came about, that growing-up or maturing may not always be a bad thing! :) Maybe, strength and maturity come through that extra little pause. And the following words and actions will always be stronger and more effective.

Hard work and Luck: I think i'm getting the gist

Those factors that I can control, I can work hard on those.
Those that I cannot control, I need luck with those.

So, invest and work hard in matters I can control. And pray for luck with those I cannot control.
If I mix up the two, its a recipe for disaster - work hard on factors I cannot control, and rely on luck or pray for those that I can control.

While investing in business, I should work hard with assets/resources like people, machinery, marketing, finances, etc. And pray for favorable weather and favorable laws! :)

Dont want to be middle-class? Stop thinking middle-class

its clear really. if i keep thinking i'm an average middle-class guy, i wont be anything but that!
the key is to start thinking big, rich, first, excellence, etc, etc. then, i will start doing those things too, and become at least one of those.

so, take on debt, invest, work hard, think big, GET OUT OF MIDDLE-CLASS THINKING! need to take those risks.

Movie: Life in a Metro

Worth a watch. Nice set of stories intertwined without much confusion. Good songs too.
And, Irrfan Khan is probably one of the better actors in today's film industry.

A motley crew of talented performers, a simple set of stories and nice songs - a good recipe!

Losing some respect for Wharton

First, they admit a high-profile brat from Delhi, who has been 'accused' of killing six people in a drunken driving frenzy. So, what exactly was so stellar in this brat's application (apart from the fact that he's RICH and POLITICALLY CONNECTED), that he got admission to Wharton??

Secondly, they had admitted another high-profile businessman's son long ago. And recently decided to name an entire hall after the businessman, following a multi-million dollar 'gift' by the Whartonite son. Again, this dude was RICH and POLITICALLY CONNECTED. And again, I would love to see the application of this son, and maybe the 'supplements' to the application as well.

Now, that's two that I know of. How many more??

Action or Thought?

I think too much. And act less. Is thought more important than action? Does this have something to do with the short-term (action-oriented) and long-term (thought-oriented) approaches? Or am I confusing the two.

I think I need to act more. Thought is paralyzing at times. Especially, when there's too much of it.

Method or Result?

I am not meeting my sales target. I am also not indulging in usual sales tactics like "poaching", "re-allocation of buckets", "silent acceptance of erroneous orders", etc. So, what is more important - the METHOD of reaching the target or the end RESULT?

My company will ask for RESULT. But I am concentrating on the METHOD.

Chanakyaneeti

"Have a purpose in life. Be it Faith, Love, Wealth or Salvation. If you don't have either of the first three, your life was in vain. And if you don't even have the fourth, your death too, is in vain."


"You come alone. Win alone. Lose alone. Leave alone. Life is a one-man show."

Finding my "Groove"

If I find my "groove" in life, then I will accelerate and perform to the fullest of my potential. It's like the cog of the wheel rotating over and over until it "clicks" into position and sets into motion the giant ferris wheel.
Now, what is my "groove" and where do I find it?

I have tried Tech, project-management, pre-sales and now sales. Clearly, the "groove" was not there. At least, I did not pursue them long enough to know if I "clicked" after a while. So, is the groove a matter of time doing the same thing over and over, until you can do it blindfolded, or is it sampling different professions until one finally clicks - that really is the question.

The question of whether to give a job enough time to work out, or whether to keep moving until the "click" happens.
For now, I think I'll keep moving. I will also try to find my "groove" outside of the workplace.

Global warming

The effects are clearly here to watch and feel. Soaring temperatures in summer, practically impossible to stay out in the sun.

The USA says "If efforts to control global warming, brings down the economic output, then we wont do it. It's not an option" - Dude, WHAT IS THE OPTION??? BURN AND DIE ??
Jeez. Some idiot named Connaughton. Remove him and the rest of his brethren. If economic output keeps increasing, more and more, who the hell is going to consume it, when everyone is dead??

This is an inflection point. It is time to either go back in time (to a greener/cleaner world) or continue the path towards sure death. I am 28 years now. I'm sure the next 20 years will determine if climate will kill me or let me stay alive a while longer. So, I need to plan to retire by 40 and enjoy the last 10 years of my life - before the world ends.

Binary thinking and Geometry in Motion

The good thing about life is that the lessons are re-taught to me, every time I forget them. Recently, I learnt just how Binary my thoughts have become. Yes/No, Win/Loss, In/Out, etc. Maybe it has to do with my sales role, where it's all about chasing numbers. And I also started realizing (yet again) that I am not good at Binary. I prefer 0.5 instead of 0 or 1. Need to get out of sales, or at least into non-linear sales - spurts and dips, instead of Linearity. Strange part is that after exactly 3 quarters of the sales cycle, I'm at exactly 75% of my sales quota!
Need to get more non-linear! :)

Watched an episode on National Geographic about martial arts. And how attacking/defending moves in martial arts follow precise geometric shapes. But most revealing of all was the realization that it is geometry "in motion" !! Not static, but dynamic equations. Equations of "Flow". Same thought hit me while reading "It happened in India" by Kishore Biyani. He emphasizes "fluid" thinking rather than Binary/Static thinking. And if you can develop "Geometry in Motion", it gives rise to the most spectacular moves! Watch any Martial Arts champ and you'll know what I'm saying!

Children's Stories...and The Circle Of Life

As an adult, I have lost the magical wonderland of children's stories. As I read a bedtime story to my 4-year old nephew.."The Lion King".. I found a strange awakening of past wonderings/dreams/imagination. And more surprisingly, I found in the story a line of thought that is going on in my "adult" mind today... the question on "Where am I in the Circle of Life?"

As the mighty king Mufasa tells the young cub Simba - "You have to take your rightful place in the Circle of Life", I ask myself, 'Where is my place in the Circle of Life?' - isnt that what I am seeking every day of my life?
And in the story I find that it takes time, to find one's place, after many wanderings, that one does find his/her place in the Circle of Life... but only if one keeps looking. And so I will.

And until I find my place, I will live in the day, in the present. Long live the Lion King!

Shifting Goalposts

Many of my peers, including me, think we can do anything. Problem is we cant seem to find that "one" thing to focus upon. If I walk into a fancy restaurant, I can think of 4-5 ways of alternate revenue generation, cost-control and a better menu selection to get more customers. But do I want to enter the restaurant business? Answer is "Ummm.... No."

Childhood: I want to be a cricketer
Adolesence: I want to be an actor
Teenage: I want to be a CEO
Early 20s: I want to run my own company
Late 20s: I want to be financially independent and retire

I really dont know what to do, what to focus upon.

Marriages, Divorces

Seems to be the only thing going around these days... Marriages... Divorces...
I hear of a marriage and divorce almost with equal frequency... Someone getting married, Someone getting divorced, Someone getting re-married...
Which marriages are happy and which arent...Again, there seems to be a clean split of 50-50.

It's turning to be a tough scene for the old and new generations as a sudden conflict of thoughts arises on this crucial topic. It's almost like the younger generation was cultivating its own thoughts on marriage and suddenly I'm 28 years old and the older generation confronts me with their own thoughts.

Education was an easy decision. Jobs was an even easier decision. So was relocation, travel, change of jobs. I made all my decisions with complete freedom and no one complained.
Looks like marriage is a generation-wide, family-wide decision! I'm getting the shivers...

Marriage, Divorce, Re-marriage, Happy marriage, Unhappy marriage....Suddenly, its all real, all around.

No Plan B

Getting confused and not starting is worse than failing after dedicatedly going down one path.

I always try to think of a Plan B, and trying to cushion a fall that may never occur in the first place. This "cushioning" effort takes away time and effort that could go into executing the original plan with full gusto.

Uncertainty is constant. Hence, I want to dispense with Plan Bs, trust my instinct and skills and go for the kill with full gusto. Now, I need to find a worthwhile target, that's all. And concentrate on it.

Sometimes to sell, you gotta De-sell

Strange concept I'm learning these days. I always thought up-selling was important, and thats what gave value to the company as well as increased your worth in the food-chain.

Now, I'm learning De-selling as well. Which is basically - If your client cant afford a high-end product, tell him he doesnt need a high-end product, and sell him a low-end product instead, that he can afford!! That way, the competition is kept out and you make the sale.

Interesting. But not exciting.

"Always in his own world"...Whats wrong with that?

As it is, I live in the world I create for myself. Some things I like, some I dont. I look at life in my own way, behave in my own way, decide and implement things as I see fit, react as I want to.

So, basically, I'm living in my own world all the time. And if I create a world I like living in, I dont mind living in it all the time! Even if others think - "He's always in his own world", who cares? I'm happy in my own world. Who wants to get back to "reality", anyway?

Reality is someone else's world. I like living in my own world. The way I like it. Master of my universe.

Go for broke

I think its worthwhile running after and failing in big things. Rather than run after and fail in small things. Big upsides, Big downsides. At least the effort and lessons are worth the struggle.

Salman Rushdie said "Go for broke" - do whatever it takes to get out there and do things to the maximum even if the downside is huge. Because then, so is the upside.

I'll try to go after the big games. "To hunt the lions, you have to run with the wolves". Dont know if I read it somewhere, or it just popped up in my head. Doesnt matter. It makes sense.

P.S. Full quote by Salman Rushdie - "Go for broke. Always try and do too much. Dispense with safety nets.Take a deep breath before you begin talking. Aim for the stars. Keep grinning. Be bloody-minded. Argue with the world."

Advertisements

The Hutch ad on "Small, Medium, Large" talktimes is bigger than the brand-name itself. In fact, am not sure its even Hutch!

The three tiny school girls describing their cats is the cutest! As is the one on the teenage girls reaching home late after a party! Innovative advertising is great to watch - and such a relief among the rehashed trash doled out daily - cant beleive ad agencies get paid to come out with trash.

The Motorola ad of Abhishek Bacchan grooving to rap music during his scenes is funny too.

It's the individual, not the organization

An organization is merely a collection of individuals. Simple fact, took me a long time to figure out. For me, the organization is merely the specific individuals I work with. And among my clients, its always the individuals I deal with, never the entire organization.

So, getting to know the individual is more important in my own organization and that of my clients', than getting to know their companies. After all, the individual/s will make the decisions.

"An employee leaves the manager, never the organization" - Marcus Buckingham in "First, Break all the Rules" - read this a long time ago, and it resurfaces now from the depths of memory.

300: A sign of movies to come

300 was a visual treat - I felt like I was in a video game and movie at the same time!! What a rocking movie - music of a rock-bar, scenery of a video game, acting of an oscar-winning-movie and special effects of a sci-fi extravaganza. And its all actually about a war in 480 BC !!! Imagine that - a futuristic depiction of a time long long ago.

I think this is a sign of movies to come. In fact, I heard of "lifting" the bodies of dead-and-gone starts, digitizing them and making them actors of brand new movies !!

An English weekend

The weekend started with a new book: "Midnight's Children" by the UK-based Salman Rushdie. Extremely detailed in his writing, each sentence is heavy with description. Quite a contrast from skimming novels to reading each sentence, sometimes twice. The book should be interesting.

Then, an English play about George Bernard Shaw, the playwright. Naseeruddin Shah is one of the best actors that ever lived. Alongwith his wife Ratna-Pathak Shah, just the two of them held an audience for 2 hours 15 minutes without a hint of extra effort. Flawless dialog-delivery and great acting!

Then, it was Jazz at "Not Just Jazz By The Bay". Great mouth-organ music and accompanying guitaring. Some pub-hopping later, Saturday ended! An eventful day, English in content, but Bombay in behavior!

"The Last King of Scotland" on Sunday. Brilliant acting by Forest Whitaker - the closest one could come to enacting the notorious Ugandan dictator Idi Amin. I love great performances! Some continental food to fill the stomach and beer at Mondegar's! A perfect weekend!

Never say NEVER again

Upto 1999: Iwill NEVER get into a software company.
2000: Joined Infosys as a software engineer.

Upto 2005: I will NEVER touch Maths/Finance again.
2006: Finance is the most popular hobby.

Upto 2004: I will NEVER enter the stock market.
2006: Entered Mutual Funds, will be entering the Stock Market soon.

2006: I will NEVER get out of Bombay.
2007: Watch this space!

One thing's for sure... i will never say NEVER again!!

Lunar eclipse and jogging on Marine Drive at 5 am

Saw the Lunar Eclipse while jogging on Marine Drive at 5 am on a Sunday morning. One of the best mornings I've had.
The RED moon was almost surreal - like another world looking down upon ours. Marine Drive was absolutely empty - I was running on the road in complete silence. Felt like asking myself like Bhikhu Mhatre in Satya - "Mumbai ka Raja kaun??" It's funny how elevated silence makes me feel.
As the Moon was stepping out of the Earth's shadow, the "Silver Ring" phenomenon was visible - a sliver of silver on a red globe. Surreal. I think the eclipse times itself well - it's a phenomenon to be witnessed by only a few - and in complete silence.

Restless in Mumbai

When there are many things to think about, trying to put the restless thoughts in queue is a task. The thoughts keep jumping the queue to be next in line, and after thinking through that thought for a while, I suddenly realize it's out of turn!

The earth meanwhile heads towards its end. Climate change is so apparent now, that doomsday predictions dont seem so unrealistic. Temperatures soaring in Mumbai is making my brains fry even while seated within the office. The heat is all around. Humans wont do anything about it. They live in the present. They will not live to see the end of the world. Many unborn children will.

I can see tired people. I see them everywhere. I see them all the time. At home, on the streets, in the mirror. Tired of what, though? Tired of everything, it seems.

I dont think I've got it all figured out

I dont think I've got it all figured out. Maybe I dont know the basics itself. What I know is my own version of the truth. Which may not be the actual truth after all.

Figuring it out will take time. But, will I figure it out eventually? Or will the enigma continue and evolve further?

Judging others is the last thing I want to do. I should not even be judging myself. What I do at a specific point in time is totally dependant on what I'm thinking at that point of time. Judging myself and making a "profile" of my personality will be a futile exercise. Because the same event might evoke a different reaction at another point in time.

The minute I stop judging myself or others, a huge load is lifted off the shoulders. No one, including myself has to fit a pre-conceived mould anymore. Hence, there is no chance of dissonance - the feeling of which, weighs me down. Non-judgmental behavior is the lightest feeling. No more judging myself. And least of all, judging others.

Prisoner of the past or future?

If thinking too much about the past can imprison you and tie you down, so can thinking too much about the future.
This post joins up with the one on "living in the NOW".
Thinking too much about the past is no doubt the bane of most of us, and blaming oneself for the past is a futile, time-consuming exercise with no useful output. At the same time, thinking too much about the future is useless, because the dynamics are just too many in today's world. Those silly notions of "where will I be 5 years from now" are a real joke. Today, where I am - I could have never ever predicted or planned to be 5 years ago. Same goes for the personal side of life, where too much planning into the future robs the present of its spontaneity.

To be spontaneous is liberating! To analyze the past or predict the future is imprisonment!

Once skilled, Scale. Once scaled, Diversify.

I am picking up good skills at work. Sales is a great skill to have in my repertoire. And I feel the need to move onto bigger deals. The need to scale.
Once the basics are learnt well, I have realized that its all a matter of handling scale that leads to growth. Eg. Take a small retail shop and a large one. Basics of supply, demand, stocking, pricing, promotions, etc are all the same. But a small-time fellow remains small. Does not become a Walmart, simply because he lacks the ability to scale.

And once Scale is realized, and a mega business is running well, the need is to diversify. Again, the fundamentals of business remain the same. The specifics may vary, but the basics are the same. And the idea is now to apply the skills and scale to a new business. Diversify.

The Tatas, Birlas, Mittals, etc, etc are all classic examples. Grew a small business into a large one. And then grew many other businesses. Skilled, Scaled, Diversified.

Perspective, Perspective, Perspective

If I have a Perspective X about an event, and the event meets my expectation, I am happy.
If I have a Perspective Y about the same event, and the event doesnt meet my expectation, I am not happy.

So, whether I am happy or not about a particular event in my life, is only because I am viewing it in a certain perspective. And that really changes the outlook on everything in life.
If I get fired tomorrow from my job, will I cry and moan over it and abuse the organization for doing bad things to me? Or will I confront myself on my performance and decide I just did not fit in, so its better we parted ways sooner than later? That's the beauty of perspective. It changes everything.

The sandclock of life is draining away. Perspective will ensure I keep moving on. Move on man!

Live in the "NOW"

Many years ago, I made a lot of assumptions about my life-of-the-future. Little did I know, that the future ain't what it used to be !!! And now, all those assumptions (and preconceived notions) are being tested to the hilt! And when I still try to plan the future - the thought strikes me - is it really worth planning for the unpredictable future ??

Planning for the future does 2 things - it does not allow me to enjoy the present moment. And it does not allow me to be tactical when the moments arise (since I had "planned" my future actions already before they happened). Furthermore, the future will always continue to challenge me on my principles and thoughts. And I need to deal with them as of that moment. Which is the same as "Now".

Hence, I think I'll live in the "Now". Take it as it comes. As one of my favorite professors once said about the future - "Who knows?!"

Letting my style evolve

With every change of mindset or manager, I wonder what changes in 'style' will result. Sometimes the message is "be aggressive, go and get 'em". And some other times, the message is "build/grow the business, invest in yourself, etc".

Just as too much of anything is not good, too much of information/advice is simply overwhelming me. And wherever I look, advice is freely available - from newspapers, to TV channels, to colleagues and friends, books, etc, etc. I am deluged with well-meaning people who dont have a clue what I'm really all about! :) Thanks for the concern folks!

Let me evolve my style. Most advice will be filtered...only that which resonates with the elusive 'inner self' will remain. Resonance is important - only then can actions and thoughts be consistent. Else, it'll be a force fit of style, which is short-term and dies a quick death.

Resonance. Evolution.

Agra, Delhi

The Taj! Some construction that is. Project management at its best - 22 years, thousands of people, tonnes of material, great architecture!
And the software companies here use some silly tools, and claim they are great project managers! Ha !

Then, on to Delhi. Changed my perception a lot since the last time I went there. The Metro project is truly world-class!! Another great example of fantastic project management! Had great food at Old Delhi - one of the best places for food in the world! Parathas, lassi-with-malai, rabdi-falooda, dahi-bhalla, ooh la la !!

A great 5 days! Great weather, sights, food and pals! Now, that's the life I ordered!

Bend/Break the rules...?

Watched "Guru" a few days ago with the senior generation of the family.

One theme coming from the movie...and has been on my mind many a time... Should one operate within the rules set by external forces (such as the govt) or should one operate as per the rules one sees fit. It is obvious that on many occasions, the government and other rule-setting bodies are neither in touch with the realities (and practicalities) of business nor do they evolve with changing circumstances. Then, should one still continue to operate within archaic rules that restrict growth?

Maybe the answer as usual, is somewhere in between. After all, Gandhi broke the rules during the British rule, but no one views it as a crime. He acted from his own definitions of right and wrong.
So, why shouldnt I in my own spheres of operation?

Hmmmm....

It's a Crocodile's life

I know how it is to be a crocodile. Have been behaving like one since the past few days. Lazing around, sleeping like i'm dead, and zero motivation to move. And it's already one month into the new year! Jeez...need to get a jump-start soon, or plants will start growing out of me!

Waiting for days when I dont have time to think - those are the best! Is there any job that guarantees day after day like that?! I dont think so... and maybe thats ok. Coz, my new year resolution was to have a dual-income path, and hence I need to keep busy with other things and hold a regular job too. I'm trying... Finance and movie-scripting are the chosen dual-paths. Let's see how those unravel. Am bullish on the finance path and need some inspiration to gain momentum on the movie-scripting path.

Agra and Delhi trip coming up - thank god - some movement will happen now! And may the momentum build up!

Bad Website design: Half the battle lost in e-biz

I was recently checking out websites to buy good shoes. Went to the usual suspects' pages - Nike, Reebok, Adidas.
Firstly, the shoes' market in India is huge. And all three websites had fancy FLASH websites, when the first law of website design is to have a parallel lite version (only HTML), so countries like India where broadband is limited, can have access to all the information. So, first rule violated.
Secondly, the websites had no "India" page other than Adidas, which dint count, since it was the usual website with 'India' written on top! What's the point ??!!
Thirdly, none of the websites had a store-listing in India. This surprises me no end, as these brands have been in India for so long, but absolutely no interest in fostering e-business in India.
Fourthly, navigating the website (especially Nike) was such a PAIN! Too many buttons, too many choices, redundant menus, etc, etc !! Made me feel like one trapped in a labyrinth with no way out!

Bad, bad website design is half the battle lost. Does not generate any excitement in what is a closely contested battle for the shoes market in India. Finally, I have decided to take the only way out - go out, hunt from store to store and buy the first thing that seems decent.
Back to the Bricks model for now, since the Clicks model has clearly failed the Indian shoe-buying customer!

Dynamix

It's a mix of dynamics..and hence Dynamix.

Dynamic situations are prevalent as of now. And I realize that its never how I've dealt with situations in the past or present or how I think I will deal with them in the future. Dynamix will ensure that each situation no matter how familiar, will have its own associated dynamics. This means, that try as I might, I cannot have an algorithm to solve the puzzles of life.
And hence, I will be forward looking, and not backward looking. I will think and solve each situation as I believe fit at that very moment. No preconceived notions, no pre-judgements.

Since there are so many variables (dynamix) at the moment, I try to solve situations like they teach in Mathematics (or Statistics...or something like that). Keep one thing constant and only vary the other! :) Wish I could do that in real life! Tell my boss to keep my job for me, while I go out and solve other issues in life!! :)) He he! That's a funny thought!

But maybe, keeping everything constant and only varying (or concentrating) on one variable can help - maybe Mathematics is showing a way out... Hmm... worth a thought and worth a try...

A lifelong student of Warren Buffett

If there's one thing Warren Buffett has done...is to make me like Finance. A few days of reading his letters to shareholders of Berkshire Hathaway, has removed a 27-year long hatred of Finance. And for that, I remain indebted to him forever. ("Finance" for me stands for everything to do with mathematics, accounting, investments, economics, etc, etc!)

I need not explain what his letters have done for me, it is for you to read them at:
http://www.berkshirehathaway.com/letters/letters.html
As they say, the best things in life are free, just as these letters which can be freely downloaded.

Written from 1976, these letters give an annual account of why Berkshire made certain investments, why it's holding onto some of them, and why it finally decided to sell off some. Although not for the short-term "speculator", the letters are gold for the dedicated, long-term investor. Interspersed with his terrific wit and humor, these letters made my dull world of Finance into an enjoyable and educative experience.

I hope with this note of appreciation, Warren Buffett will slightly alter his statement about new MBAs - "It's difficult to teach a new dog old tricks"

Thanks for everything, Mr. Buffett!

Loopholes and Exceptions

Most business in India seems to be done through loopholes and exceptions.
If I were to throw up a number for Exception (loophole-based) work v/s Straight (Rule-based) work, the ratio would be the famous 80:20.

But, what amazes me most is that we are a country always eye-deep in procedure/rules/regulations/laws/etc/etc/etc and yet we conduct most of our business using exceptions or loopholes! How's that for another addition to the long-list-of-contradictions that we are famous for! I think we spend more time analyzing which loopholes to avoid and which to embrace, rather than follow a simple business process, that drastically reduces the time and energy taken to conduct business.

It is difficult to conduct one straight deal, one clean transaction, one process-based closure. Most are negotiated on terms such as past relationships, current favorites, back-the-winning-horse strategy, screw-the-loser strategy, white-lie-syndrome, etc. So, the mind basically becomes a chessboard with various possible moves based on the opposing side's (often more than one!) move.
India is also the birthplace of Chess - Ah, now I get it! :)

Means and the End.... Journey and the Destination

As I go along, firmly into the "Action" phase, after a long long association with the "Introspective" phase... I pause very briefly.

Means are what is more relevant at the moment. The Journey is what is more important and alive at the moment. The thoughts of the End or the Destination are firmly pushed to the backburner, since the dynamics of myself and my surroundings are too multi-faceted to focus on one particular End or one particular Destination. Hence, the End will take care of itself, and the Destination will be reached automatically, wherever or whatever it is.

Deja Vu - this is exactly how I felt many years ago - before I aged prematurely! And now, I'm back into the "young-and-restless" phase! :) I like it!

New Year Resolution

2007 will be an awesome year! Either its just the number 2007 or something else - I dont know! But I know that this year will be something! Last year during this time, there was the thought of "now that your long-desired MBA is almost over, what next?". This time, its more like "why dont you do much more than what you are doing currently". So, the new year resolution is more like "maximizing potential" - and promising myself to think less, do more!! Too much thinking in the recent past has turned hair gray and double-guessed every move - no more! It's EFFECTUAL thinking and DOING over thinking for this year.

New Year's at Pondicherry...
The trip with old pals and some new faces started out rather well with visiting old pals in Chennai (my first time there - no specific observations, since it was just a transit stop). Good to meet old pals anytime! Then on, visited Mahabalipuram - lovely stone temple next to the seashore - and well maintained too. Onwards, the trip dipped in enthusiasm, as we were beset with lodging problems, driver problems, etc. The next day dawned with fresh hope! Alas, more driver problems! Then, lunch with uncle and finally visited the French-part of Pondicherry.
You know, Indians somehow are not too good with planning. The French part of Pondy is so neatly planned with quaint little houses, rectangular layout of blocks and paved streets - and just a kilometer away, is the chaos of yet another Indian town - what have we learnt ???!!!
The afternoon was spent in a nice French cafe, and evening too was spent there after much hunting around for greener pastures. Quiet ushuring in of the New Year and early start to the next day - Auroville - a place bookmarked to revisit and spend 2-3 days.

Back now to the grind - Cheers to the forthcoming year ahead!