Movie Review: Insomnia

The movie can be summed up in two words: Al Pacino.

Another brilliant movie by Al Pacino. Harassed and sleep-deprived, the LAPD detective sets about solving a murder in a far-off small town. Drifting between wakefulness, hallucination and nightmares of a crime he unknowingly commits, Al Pacino defines a cop's life in a new way. Rest of the cast supports well, although the movie is all about Al.

I like the advice he gives, in the end, to the rookie cop who is too enamoured by him and is drifting from the right path, to protect Al. He says - "Dont lose your way".
Sales and Finance are jobs where I've seen people lose their way. For short-term gains. "Dont lose your way" is good advice.

There's no use running if you're on the wrong road.

Another classic from Warren Buffett. Holds true for the job I do. Worth the pain only if there's good gain in experience and/or money.
Alternatively, helps to look at the job the other way around. Instead of "I like the job, but is it worth it?" to "Is it worth it? If yes, then I like the job"

I'm willing to face it - I've wasted one year

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. The comfort zone has made me laze, procrastinate and waste an entire year, doing nothing but work and shuttle to home. True, I've learnt loads on work during the year. But, on a personal front, there's been nothing new - no new friends, no new hobbies, no new nothing. Procrastination has reached its limits.
So, for sure, this year will see more action...I hope! Getting out of the comfort zone is a pre-requsite. Or at least something drastic to get the "shock" treatment needed to get me going.

Procrastination: The worst disease

No car yet. No regular gymming. No yoga classes. No music classes.

All of these were on the Grand Plan when I moved to Bombay. None achieved so far. I am afflicted with the disease of Procrastination. It occurs in "Comfort Zones" and is a silent and undetected phenomenon until its in an advanced stage. Treatment needs to be drastic. It might involve a sudden huge expense to make up for lost time. It might also require a hectic vacation, which brings the decaying body cells back to life. It might also involve an impulsive decision or two. It definitely requires less thinking, and more doing.

It needs to be treated ASAP. Because, time is fleeting.

Pre Mid-life crisis

Now, whats that? There's a quarter-life crisis, and a mid-life crisis - I've heard about those and gone through the first one. But, suddenly, there's another new crisis - the pre-mid-life crisis. Or I can call it the one-year-post-MBA-crisis. This one forces me to rethink on my decision to join a particular job after MBA, and also where I want to go from here.

Should I continue? Should I quit and join something else? If yes, then what should I do? Do I know what I want to do? What will be the "best" job for me? Is there such a thing at all?
And then, there's the personal side to it? Am I happy here? Should I continue in Bombay? Should I move? Where to move to? Where are my pals - all in the US. Where can I find new pals? Should I get married?

This is the decision-making phase on both job and personal fronts. And now, since I'm officially a grown-up, having completed my education, etc - the decisions are big and real. And only I can make those decisions. It's a crisis situation.

2 quick thoughts

1) HR should not be only a staffing function. In HRD, D stands for development. Treating HR as another corporate function has crippled it. HR should mentor, be the coach for employees and look for ways and means to make the employees more succesful. Not just staff people, organize parties or be a sounding board for complaints. More proactive HR is needed to curb attrition as well as "D"evelop people.

2) I learn in 2 ways: Books and Action. There needs to be both. Else, the learning is incomplete, and no fun.

Dissociation

It's a good thing. Be it stock markets or personal relationships. Dissociation helps me to objectively view a situation. No strings attached. That's the way stocks and relationships should be viewed I think. Helps to make sound and practical decisions instead of getting swept up in emotion.
The problem is - for a naturally emotional guy, how do I dissociate myself? I think the answer probably lies in yoga, meditation, etc.
But I dont want to lose the emotional component either! Is a dual/split personality possible??

Ensemble

Life is an ensemble of experiences. Just a couple of days ago, my country manager quit. And it was only 6 months since he became country manager. He said he wants to live the opportunity-wave to the max and head out on his own. And I thought - now, I should be collecting my own ensemble of various experiences. So, Jack of all Trades that I am, I am loving it! :) (McD ad-style!)

Also, saw a girl in some creative and beautiful wardrobe ensembles! Ensembles are fun, creative and attractive! ;)

Wanting to work my arse off

I think I want to work my arse off for a while. There was a time during my first project at Infy, when I worked about 14 hours a day for 3 months at a stretch. I read newspapers after weeks, and thought - "Man, the world has changed, and I'm not even aware of it!". At the end of three months, there were 2 reactions - "I just lost 3 months of life without knowing it" and also "I think I've changed hugely in the past 3 months". I think both were important reactions.

Now, I want to work my arse off again. I think I have the mental and physical capacity to pull it off. And also the will and ambition. So, I need either a crazy hard-working job, or 2 jobs to fill up the 16 hour workday I desire. But in any case, it should be a wild, fun 16-hour ride! Else, I'm not up for it.

Open-mindedness

It's the most important attribute. Open-mindedness. Open to learn, explore, re-visit old inhibitions and failures. I think that's a very important characteristic to develop and also be friends with people who are open-minded. Frankly, close-minded people piss me off.