I dont think I've got it all figured out

I dont think I've got it all figured out. Maybe I dont know the basics itself. What I know is my own version of the truth. Which may not be the actual truth after all.

Figuring it out will take time. But, will I figure it out eventually? Or will the enigma continue and evolve further?

Judging others is the last thing I want to do. I should not even be judging myself. What I do at a specific point in time is totally dependant on what I'm thinking at that point of time. Judging myself and making a "profile" of my personality will be a futile exercise. Because the same event might evoke a different reaction at another point in time.

The minute I stop judging myself or others, a huge load is lifted off the shoulders. No one, including myself has to fit a pre-conceived mould anymore. Hence, there is no chance of dissonance - the feeling of which, weighs me down. Non-judgmental behavior is the lightest feeling. No more judging myself. And least of all, judging others.

Prisoner of the past or future?

If thinking too much about the past can imprison you and tie you down, so can thinking too much about the future.
This post joins up with the one on "living in the NOW".
Thinking too much about the past is no doubt the bane of most of us, and blaming oneself for the past is a futile, time-consuming exercise with no useful output. At the same time, thinking too much about the future is useless, because the dynamics are just too many in today's world. Those silly notions of "where will I be 5 years from now" are a real joke. Today, where I am - I could have never ever predicted or planned to be 5 years ago. Same goes for the personal side of life, where too much planning into the future robs the present of its spontaneity.

To be spontaneous is liberating! To analyze the past or predict the future is imprisonment!

Once skilled, Scale. Once scaled, Diversify.

I am picking up good skills at work. Sales is a great skill to have in my repertoire. And I feel the need to move onto bigger deals. The need to scale.
Once the basics are learnt well, I have realized that its all a matter of handling scale that leads to growth. Eg. Take a small retail shop and a large one. Basics of supply, demand, stocking, pricing, promotions, etc are all the same. But a small-time fellow remains small. Does not become a Walmart, simply because he lacks the ability to scale.

And once Scale is realized, and a mega business is running well, the need is to diversify. Again, the fundamentals of business remain the same. The specifics may vary, but the basics are the same. And the idea is now to apply the skills and scale to a new business. Diversify.

The Tatas, Birlas, Mittals, etc, etc are all classic examples. Grew a small business into a large one. And then grew many other businesses. Skilled, Scaled, Diversified.

Perspective, Perspective, Perspective

If I have a Perspective X about an event, and the event meets my expectation, I am happy.
If I have a Perspective Y about the same event, and the event doesnt meet my expectation, I am not happy.

So, whether I am happy or not about a particular event in my life, is only because I am viewing it in a certain perspective. And that really changes the outlook on everything in life.
If I get fired tomorrow from my job, will I cry and moan over it and abuse the organization for doing bad things to me? Or will I confront myself on my performance and decide I just did not fit in, so its better we parted ways sooner than later? That's the beauty of perspective. It changes everything.

The sandclock of life is draining away. Perspective will ensure I keep moving on. Move on man!

Live in the "NOW"

Many years ago, I made a lot of assumptions about my life-of-the-future. Little did I know, that the future ain't what it used to be !!! And now, all those assumptions (and preconceived notions) are being tested to the hilt! And when I still try to plan the future - the thought strikes me - is it really worth planning for the unpredictable future ??

Planning for the future does 2 things - it does not allow me to enjoy the present moment. And it does not allow me to be tactical when the moments arise (since I had "planned" my future actions already before they happened). Furthermore, the future will always continue to challenge me on my principles and thoughts. And I need to deal with them as of that moment. Which is the same as "Now".

Hence, I think I'll live in the "Now". Take it as it comes. As one of my favorite professors once said about the future - "Who knows?!"

Letting my style evolve

With every change of mindset or manager, I wonder what changes in 'style' will result. Sometimes the message is "be aggressive, go and get 'em". And some other times, the message is "build/grow the business, invest in yourself, etc".

Just as too much of anything is not good, too much of information/advice is simply overwhelming me. And wherever I look, advice is freely available - from newspapers, to TV channels, to colleagues and friends, books, etc, etc. I am deluged with well-meaning people who dont have a clue what I'm really all about! :) Thanks for the concern folks!

Let me evolve my style. Most advice will be filtered...only that which resonates with the elusive 'inner self' will remain. Resonance is important - only then can actions and thoughts be consistent. Else, it'll be a force fit of style, which is short-term and dies a quick death.

Resonance. Evolution.

Agra, Delhi

The Taj! Some construction that is. Project management at its best - 22 years, thousands of people, tonnes of material, great architecture!
And the software companies here use some silly tools, and claim they are great project managers! Ha !

Then, on to Delhi. Changed my perception a lot since the last time I went there. The Metro project is truly world-class!! Another great example of fantastic project management! Had great food at Old Delhi - one of the best places for food in the world! Parathas, lassi-with-malai, rabdi-falooda, dahi-bhalla, ooh la la !!

A great 5 days! Great weather, sights, food and pals! Now, that's the life I ordered!

Bend/Break the rules...?

Watched "Guru" a few days ago with the senior generation of the family.

One theme coming from the movie...and has been on my mind many a time... Should one operate within the rules set by external forces (such as the govt) or should one operate as per the rules one sees fit. It is obvious that on many occasions, the government and other rule-setting bodies are neither in touch with the realities (and practicalities) of business nor do they evolve with changing circumstances. Then, should one still continue to operate within archaic rules that restrict growth?

Maybe the answer as usual, is somewhere in between. After all, Gandhi broke the rules during the British rule, but no one views it as a crime. He acted from his own definitions of right and wrong.
So, why shouldnt I in my own spheres of operation?

Hmmmm....

It's a Crocodile's life

I know how it is to be a crocodile. Have been behaving like one since the past few days. Lazing around, sleeping like i'm dead, and zero motivation to move. And it's already one month into the new year! Jeez...need to get a jump-start soon, or plants will start growing out of me!

Waiting for days when I dont have time to think - those are the best! Is there any job that guarantees day after day like that?! I dont think so... and maybe thats ok. Coz, my new year resolution was to have a dual-income path, and hence I need to keep busy with other things and hold a regular job too. I'm trying... Finance and movie-scripting are the chosen dual-paths. Let's see how those unravel. Am bullish on the finance path and need some inspiration to gain momentum on the movie-scripting path.

Agra and Delhi trip coming up - thank god - some movement will happen now! And may the momentum build up!