The Mahabharata

It is an epic. A story that is the source for all other stories. A creation of God and man. A balance between spirituality and practicality/reality. A book for life.

Underestimating financial-fuel and external factors

When I set out to pursue what I really wanted to do, I severely underestimated 2 things: external factors to work in my favor and the financial-fuel i needed to keep walking down the path that I had chosen.
Being prey to the loud voices of 'take the plunge', 'go for it', 'believe in yourself', etc were fine to the extent that they convinced me of the decision to enter the films/entertainment stream. But what I did not listen to were the voices of reason that asked me to conserve enough cash to keep the financial-fuel pipeline running. Depleting cash reserves may just push me back to the path I have left (at least for the time-being...and I am not happy about that).

Another under-estimated factor - external environment.
I want to do a lot of things, but cannot do it in isolation. I need a job in the film/entertainment industry, and that means that a lot of people who I dont know (and who dont know me) have to take a chance on me. They have to believe in me - which is a very difficult thing for anyone to do. And then, their CEOs, HR, and all the other people have to believe in me too. And then the company needs to have a job that I can do well in which is then dependent on the external business environment, etc. So, a lot of external factors have to fall in place for me to get the initial success on my chosen path.

Next time around, I will be careful and work on these things in parallel. There is no sequential path to success...parallel processing is important.

Are the dots connecting or am I over-dramatizing?

My first co-production "Vitthal" just won the National film award. This is huge. Big stuff. I am so overwhelmed. After so many years of hiding from myself, I am slowly coming out of my shell - to do what I really want to do. 'Vitthal' was a tiny step in that direction. A tentative, shaky step. And now, the awards are pouring in, and the National film award is just immense.
I am still in the hunt, though, for a day job to pay off my debts/expenses...and make some savings for a rainy day and keep doing my projects along the way. Past couple of years have been a real roller-coaster....ups, downs, twists, turns, and the 360 degree turn. Introspection, followed by taking some chances and working hard to get somewhere... is the next step success? If so, then its all so formulaic :) But I dont mind it. I can do with a job for now. :)
Cheers to 'Vitthal'!!!

Hard work

Last week was a killer. Had a couple of 16 hour workdays, and then came the whopper 30-hour workday. And through all of it, I was cheerful as ever. I was loving the work, the brain was loving the hyper-activity and for a long while now, I was actually feeling productive and useful. I realize that among the things I have to set right is the hard-work component in professional and personal (investments, travel, etc) life that has been missing all these years due to the comfort of a regular paycheck. I have chosen the road to run on, and am now looking forward to the marathon I want to run on it. I dont have to, but I want to. And the relaxing weekend that followed felt so well-deserved that I felt proud of taking a break - no nagging thoughts of uselessness. Lazing around rich and fat is not what I term as 'the good life' anymore. I want a hard-working week, harder working investments and a well deserved rest with music, friends and an afternoon nap :) Life ban jaayegi!

Accept, dont expect

Probably the magic moment in my marriage. The realization that I need to accept far more than I need to expect. A person is who s/he is. Unless the person sees a need to change, s/he wont. So, my expectations remain unfulfilled as she does not see the need to change. Unhappiness increases. So, I decrease expectations and increase acceptance. Now, I am more peaceful and happier.
Expectation goes down -> Acceptance goes up -> Happiness goes up.
And now I try to explain the same to my wife - expect less from me to increase your happiness. So far, not much success...