A direction for life

I think I have found a guiding principle and direction for the rest of my life. It's Vedanta - the philosophy and practice.
The days of joblessness resulted in severe introspection, which led me to question & answer myself a thousand times. And eventually, I found clarity and deeper meaning in Vedanta. And I am grateful that I have found a direction and guiding principle in life, no matter where I am, and what I'm doing.
The job should happen soon. And life will continue to happen. But this time, it will all be governed by a direction, a principle...Vedanta.

Amman saaru (Mom's rasam)

Tamarind soaked in water
Add to water and boil (water based on quantity requirement of rasam)
Add ground jeera powder and ground pepper powder (1 teaspoon each) - or readymade rasam powder
Bring water to boil
Add 1 teaspoon jaggery and half teaspoon chilli powder
Add salt to taste
After boiling more, add one cup daal (steamed in pressure cooker)

Separately make tadka with one teaspoon ghee, curry leaves and hing

Add tadka to boiling rasam, boil more for more taste.
Done.

Recipe for 'pudina chutney'

Don't know where else to write it (basically, lazy), so writing it down here. I made some today, and it was yum - all thanks to guidance by Mom.

Pudina leaves
Coriander leaves
Green chillies
Ginger
Salt
Jeera powder
Dhania powder
Sugar (little)

Put all in mixer. Grind to paste. Done.

Middle of extremities: Aware...and Unsure.

I am in a zone these days. Dont really feel like talking much to anyone about anything. There is nothing much to say anyways. And the last thing I need is to hear negative stuff about my situation. It's a weird feeling when compared to the excessively social phase I've been in for a long time in my life now. It's also a phase of inner discovery, of contemplation. Of trauma transformation. Of making peace with myself and the world.

But I also feel hope - and its certainly a weird combination of opposite polarities of hope and despair that I feel almost simulataneously. Maybe I'm becoming more mature and more calm, more level-headed. Maybe extremities don't bother me. Which is great, because that's what Vedanta advocates. And I have become a life-long student of Vedanta. Maybe this phase was essential for my spiritual awakening. Which gives me hope that all this was for the better and that other things will fall in place soon. I do wonder if I should continue hoping? Or should I give in to despair and take up any job that comes along? (which, by the way, is not happening at all!).

So, I am in the middle of extremities. Hope and Despair. Totally aware of being in the middle. Totally unsure of how to proceed from here. So, help me God.

Helplessness, Surrender

I am utterly helpless...the first 'anniversary' of me quitting my last job is around the corner and I still dont have a job I've been trying to get for the past year. I have met almost every studio/network worth joining and still no luck anywhere...
I am at a stage of complete and utter helplessness (which I have hardly ever felt throughout my life). I do not know what I need to do next. I have started applying to the same old IT jobs in the hope that at least I can re-start my salary, and that it will give me a mental boost to keep my search going in the Media/Ent space. But no response from IT jobs too!!

I surrender...what will be, will be.