I am in a zone these days. Dont really feel like talking much to anyone about anything. There is nothing much to say anyways. And the last thing I need is to hear negative stuff about my situation. It's a weird feeling when compared to the excessively social phase I've been in for a long time in my life now. It's also a phase of inner discovery, of contemplation. Of trauma transformation. Of making peace with myself and the world.
But I also feel hope - and its certainly a weird combination of opposite polarities of hope and despair that I feel almost simulataneously. Maybe I'm becoming more mature and more calm, more level-headed. Maybe extremities don't bother me. Which is great, because that's what Vedanta advocates. And I have become a life-long student of Vedanta. Maybe this phase was essential for my spiritual awakening. Which gives me hope that all this was for the better and that other things will fall in place soon. I do wonder if I should continue hoping? Or should I give in to despair and take up any job that comes along? (which, by the way, is not happening at all!).
So, I am in the middle of extremities. Hope and Despair. Totally aware of being in the middle. Totally unsure of how to proceed from here. So, help me God.
